One of my favorite characteristics about being human is the ability to grow and evolve. It has served me very well that I don’t tie myself to the same identity I had 5 or 10 years ago. For example, I used to say “I DON'T DO public speaking.” I thought it was a cute way to avoid my fears and challenges. I don’t think it’s cute anymore, and thank goodness I’m not stuck with that limiting self-definition.
When we grow and evolve it can be shocking and surprising when old patterns of thought come back to ‘haunt’ us. Recently, there was a hiccup with technology, and it affected my mood over the weekend because I wasn’t seeing the results I was hoping for. Even though I suspected it was a technology hang up, old thoughts like, “what if no one wants my services?” were bothering me. So, what the heck is up with that? I’m ‘woke’ now. I am more confident now. Why am I still bothered in this way?
What was happening is a great illustration of two types of thought and emotional patterns. The first type is a normal reaction to seeing unfavorable results. Here’s where it gets a little spooky: the second pattern is a ripple effect of judgement and it's harder to detect. There are beliefs that I shouldn’t be reacting this way and I shouldn’t feel disappointed or worry about what other people think.
Judging your thoughts and emotions as "wrong" creates ghostly emotions such as shame, guilt, anger, or sadness. Take it a step further and make judgements about judging yourself and you might find yourself stuck.
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